How Can I Determine My Attachment Pattern?

If you come to realize you have a problematic attachment pattern, you are either suspicious of a traumatic event in your childhood or fully aware of one that took place. At any given point in time of our lives, we are impacted by all of our life events, good, bad, or in between. We are always the total sum of all of our experiences. However, the way in which our various experiences affect us are just that- various. Each person responds to their life experiences differently. What constitutes as trauma in our lives will be different for each of us and how we respond to as well as absorb that trauma will be different for each of us as well.

Generally speaking, there is no one way to approach and understand our trauma. Trauma can be especially tricky when we have locked it away, compartmentalized it, and avoided coping with it either consciously or unconsciously. What we may be lucky enough to be conscious of is the fact that certain areas of our lives simply aren’t working, for example, our relationships.

Work With A Trauma Therapist

Working with a therapist who is trained in trauma therapy and is trauma-informed can help you determine not only what your attachment pattern is, but how it developed. By building a trusting bond with a professional, you open yourself up to a discovery process in which you can explore the facets of your childhood, safely relive certain events, and realize important moments which have defined your life. Resolving these past traumas helps you lay the foundation for changing your relationship patterns in the future, making room for more health, happiness, and success.

Ask Yourself These Questions

There are questions you can ask yourself which will give you a small hint at what kind of attachment pattern you have and how it is affecting your life.

  • Secure Attachment: Do you have problems in your relationships? Does being positive come easily to you? Are you secure in your sense of self, your worth, and your confidence? Do you refuse to accept love which doesn’t serve your sense of self? Do you trust your instincts and your decisions? Do you feel that you know who you can trust and have little issue trusting them?
  • Avoidant Attachment: Are you indifferent toward intimate relationships? Do you pretend to be uninterested in romantic partnerships because you are afraid of being hurt? Is trusting difficult for you? Do you intentionally or unintentionally sabotage opportunities at happiness? Are you disconnected from your emotions? Do you avoid situations and/or people which bring up your feelings?
  • Ambivalent Attachment: Are you constantly in fear of being alone, what being alone means, or having to deal with the feelings you experience when you’re alone? Are you insecure and unsure about how others feel about you? Do you experience anxiety because you worry about what others think about you or if they will accept you? Do you have codependent tendencies and value other people over yourself?
  • Disorganized Attachment: Are “trust issues” one of your biggest problems in relationships? Does the idea of being vulnerable toward other frighten you? Do you experience confusion when recalling events of your childhood? Do you find it difficult to trust your instincts and feel certain about your experiences or your beliefs? Do you find it difficult to trust the authority of others?

Stop the cycle of merry-go-round treatment and find the solution you’re looking for in trauma treatment. Through effective residential treatment, Khiron House helps you find the path you need toward health and wellness in recovery. For information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).