Home is an emotional issue. And with good reason…

by Benjamin Fry

Few things seem to ruffle Simon Cowell’s feathers, but his recent home invasion got to him.

Home is the perfect metaphor for the intra-psychic search for somewhere in the body which feels safe. We live in topsy-turvy bodies which have lost the capacity to “regulate” themselves.  The complexity of the human system has caused a breakdown in communication between at least two large parts of the biological system, and as a result we can often feel out of control.

Feeling in control is how we counteract this systemic problem in our species, and coming “home” is one way in which we like to do this. In trauma work, we often talk of a person coming “home” when they begin to develop the capacity to re-exist inside the “container” of the biology of their own bodies. This means that they are not too much for themselves. A baby needs a mother to hold him or her when distressed but an adult can most of the time contain him or herself, if they have a healthy nervous system without too much of a trauma reservoir.

For those of us carrying a lot of baggage, our reactivity means that we can not contain ourselves. So we look to external agencies to do this for us; people, relationships, behaviours and chemicals will often do. But nothing is more sacred than that place we try to come back to for safety and recovery. In our modern culture we have made this our physical house, our home; but in the spiritual traditions and architectures which run much further into the history of human thinking, our home is a place within, a place which we have lost due to the accumulated effects of untreated trauma (or simply unfinished stress cycles).

This can be more easily addressed and cured now than at any point in modern history. Contact Us now and allow us to help you come home.

Benjamin Fry works across a range of services and media using personal, professional and scientific expertise to help people to a baggage-free life. A published author, and a past columnist for The Times and Psychologies magazine, Benjamin is a social activist in mental health. He founded Get Stable in 2010 to get effective treatment paid for by the state and his great passion is to bring treatment, which works, to all levels of society and across all severities of conditions.

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