Emotions Archives - Khiron Clinics

Improving Emotional Regulation: Tips and Techniques

Araminta — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 06:30:42 +0000

Our emotions fluctuate every day. They can bring us joy, happiness, distress, and sadness, changing multiple times a day. Learning to regulate our emotions is an essential skill that can aid in developing emotional intelligence and managing trauma and mental health conditions.

This blog will cover the benefits and challenges of emotional regulation and practical tips and techniques to develop this essential skill.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, manage, and appropriately respond to emotions. Children begin to develop emotional regulation in childhood, learning to tolerate uncomfortable feelings and controlling their impulses.

People are bombarded with emotion-provoking stimuli every day. With good emotional regulation skills, they can react accordingly and appropriately to the situation. For example, if angry, they will step away from the situation to calm themselves instead of lashing out at others.

One study found that those who are better at self-regulating tend to be better at:^[1]

Persisting through adversity
Seeing challenges as opportunities to grow
Communicating with their loved ones and peers
Calming themselves when upset

Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulties managing and controlling one’s emotions healthily. It involves a range of emotional responses that are excessive or inappropriate given the situation and can include intense mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down or recovering from emotional arousal.

Children exposed to childhood abuse, neglect, and trauma may not develop emotional regulation skills, contributing to difficulties with emotions in the future. Trauma can change the fundamental elements of the brain, significantly impacting emotional development that can cause lasting effects through adulthood.

Research has shown those with a history of trauma have significantly heightened activity in the amygdala, a region of the brain responsible for processing emotions, fear and danger signals.^[2]

Emotional dysregulation is associated with various mental health conditions, including depression and bipolar disorder, anxiety, personality disorders, and trauma. People can struggle with abrupt mood changes, being unable to calm themselves down when distressed, and challenges coping with stress. They may turn to substance abuse in an attempt to manage these symptoms, which can make them much worse.

How to Improve Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is a skill that can be strengthened with practice, time, and effort. There are several strategies that can improve regulation and enhance mental health.

Mindfulness

Emotional regulation is closely associated with mindfulness. When people can face their problems and emotions in a non-judgemental, thoughtful pattern, they become more aware of their reactions to them without being overwhelmed.

There are multiple ways to practice mindfulness, including:

Yoga – Yoga and other forms of mindful movement, such as tai chi, involve moving the body slowly and deliberately while focusing on the present moment.
Meditation – Meditation involves focusing on the present moment and can take many forms, from body scans to visualisation techniques to simply sitting and being present. Incorporating meditation into a daily routine can reduce anxiety, improve symptoms of depression, and improve negative thoughts.^[3]
Breathing exercises – Deep breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which shifts the body into a state of rest-and-digest rather than fight-or-flight. In times of stress, anger, or anxiety, taking a few moments to practice breathing exercises can help improve emotional regulation.

Cognitive Reappraisal

Our thought patterns shape our lives. However, they can be changed for the better. Cognitive reappraisal involves reinterpreting a situation to change the emotional response to it.

For example, if someone has an important presentation at work coming up, they may be anxious and worry about all of the things that can go wrong. Cognitive reappraisal shifts the focus from a negative approach to a positive one, helping people focus on the opportunity to showcase skills and knowledge to their coworkers.

Studies have shown that cognitive reappraisal is linked to more positive emotions, happiness, and life satisfaction.^[4] Combined with a mindful approach to being aware of specific thoughts and feelings, it can vastly improve emotional regulation and help people self-soothe when distressed.

Stress Management

Stress is present in everyday life, from encountering a bad traffic jam on the way to work to dealing with significant personal problems. It can trigger the fight-or-flight response, and the body can respond by releasing hormones such as cortisol that make people feel more irritable or on edge.

When stress goes unmanaged, it can lead to heightened emotional responses, making it challenging for people to manage their emotions. For example, someone might snap at their friend for being late to dinner after a stressful day when ordinarily, they would not.

Reducing stress can improve emotional regulation and allow people to deal with emotions and problems proportionally. Although it cannot be eliminated, people can effectively manage their stress through:

Regular exercise
Socialising with loved ones
Eating a healthy diet
Getting eight hours of sleep per night

Professional Intervention

Problems with emotional regulation can be symptomatic of a larger problem, such as past trauma. If this is not addressed, these issues can persist long into the future. However, professional help can treat the root causes of trauma and aid with the symptoms, supporting people struggling to regulate their emotions alone.

While learning emotional regulation can be challenging, the benefits are well worth the effort. Improving our emotional intelligence and developing healthy coping mechanisms can reduce the risk of developing mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Additionally, it can help strengthen relationships with others by communicating our emotions effectively and responding constructively to those around us.

Learning emotional regulation is a lifelong process that requires commitment and practice. However, with the right tools and support, anyone can develop the skills needed to regulate their emotions healthily and positively.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling with anything you have read in this blog, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential program and outpatient therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

^[1] Hampson SE, Edmonds GW, Barckley M, Goldberg LR, Dubanoski JP, Hillier TA. A Big Five approach to self-regulation: personality traits and health trajectories in the Hawaii longitudinal study of personality and health. Psychol Health Med. 2016;21(2):152-162. doi:10.1080/13548506.2015.1061676

^[2] Marusak, H., Martin, K., Etkin, A. et al. Childhood Trauma Exposure Disrupts the Automatic Regulation of Emotional Processing. Neuropsychopharmacol 40, 1250–1258 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1038/npp.2014.311

^[3] Goyal M, Singh S, Sibinga EM, Gould NF, Rowland-Seymour A, Sharma R, Berger Z, Sleicher D, Maron DD, Shihab HM, Ranasinghe PD, Linn S, Saha S, Bass EB, Haythornthwaite JA. Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Intern Med. 2014 Mar;174(3):357-68. doi: 10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018. PMID: 24395196; PMCID: PMC4142584.

^[4] Brockman R, Ciarrochi J, Parker P, Kashdan T. Emotion regulation strategies in daily life: mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal and emotion suppression. Cogn Behav Ther. 2017;46(2):91-113. doi:10.1080/16506073.2016.1218926

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Understanding Emotions: Part II

Araminta — Fri, 10 Feb 2023 07:00:39 +0000

Trauma leaves a lasting mark on a person’s life. Whether it’s a traumatic event from the past or a series of smaller traumas that have accumulated over time, it can take a toll on mental well-being and leave people feeling overwhelmed and unable to control their emotions.

Our last blog looked at what emotions are and the six basic emotions all humans experience. In the second part of our series, we will focus on how trauma can affect emotional regulation and how we can reconnect with our emotions.

How Trauma Affects Emotions

Traumatic events challenge a person’s sense of safety. Where once the world felt safe and secure, trauma rattles this perspective, and people can begin to see the world as inherently dangerous. Additionally, they may see themselves negatively for how they respond to events or perceive themselves as being weak.

But trauma is much more than just mental. It contributes to significant physical changes, especially within the nervous system. After trauma, the body’s fight, flight and freeze response can remain on high alert, flooding the body with stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. High levels of these hormones contribute to persistent feelings of fear, anxiety, and hypervigilance.

Trauma also affects the brain, particularly in regions that regulate emotions. The amygdala, an area associated with processing emotions such as fear and anxiety, can become overactive, resulting in increased sensitivity to triggers and heightened emotional reactions.

After a traumatic event, people can struggle with their emotions in several ways:

Intensity and duration of emotions – Trauma can cause emotions to become more intense and last longer than they usually would. For example, a person may feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger for extended periods.
Difficulty regulating emotions – Past trauma can make it difficult for a person to control their emotions, leading to emotional outbursts or poor stress management.
Hyperarousal – Trauma can cause a person to become hyperaroused, which means they are always on high alert for danger, even in safe situations. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, irritability, and insomnia.
Difficulty experiencing positive emotions – After a traumatic event, it can be difficult for a person to experience positive emotions, such as happiness or contentment. This can lead to feelings of numbness or apathy.
Flashbacks and nightmares – Flashbacks, nightmares, and other intrusive memories of the event are common after trauma. These memories can be triggered by sights, sounds, or other sensory cues that remind the person of the trauma.

Emotional Detachment

Past trauma can contribute to what is known as emotional detachment. Children who grow up in abusive or neglectful households may detach themselves from their emotions to cope with physical or mental pain.

The signs of emotional detachment include:

Ambivalence towards other people
Difficulty empathising with others
Losing interest in hobbies, activities, and friends
Trouble forming and maintaining relationships
Struggling to feel positive emotions

Bottling Up Emotions

Some people keep their emotions close to their chest and are reluctant to open up about them. Growing up in a household where expressing emotions, especially negative ones such as sadness or anger, is discouraged can teach children to repress their feelings. Parents minimising or dismissing emotions or not responding to a child’s distress puts a huge strain on people as adults.

This can lead to severe effects such as:

Physical health problems – Suppressing emotions can lead to physical health problems. Research has found that bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress, leading to various health issues such as headaches, high blood pressure, and even heart disease.
Mental health conditions – Bottling up emotions can harm mental health. Repressing emotions can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and anger. It can also contribute to the development of mental health disorders such as PTSD.
Relationship difficulties – Not expressing emotions can lead to problems in relationships. When emotions are not acknowledged or expressed, it can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even estrangement.

Improving Emotional Regulation

Improving emotional regulation has many benefits, including increased resilience, better mental health, and improved relationships. There are several strategies people can take to get back in touch with their emotions:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being present and fully engaged in the current moment without judgement. It involves paying attention to any thoughts that arise, while increasing self-awareness and focus on the present. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing, work to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.

Identifying and Labelling Emotions

One way to get in touch with emotions is to identify and label them. This can be done by noticing physical sensations in the body, such as a tightness in the chest or a knot in the stomach, and then identifying the emotion that is associated with those sensations. Labelling emotions can help to increase self-awareness and understanding of emotions.

Journaling

Keeping a journal can help to increase self-awareness and understanding of emotions. Creating a list of when specific emotions occur and why can help to identify patterns and triggers and be a useful tool for processing difficult emotions.

Journals provide a safe, private place to explore difficult emotions and reflect on their experiences. It is also a healthy coping skill that allows people to focus on positive experiences and gratitude as well as negative feelings, promoting a shift to more positive thinking.

Self-compassion

Being compassionate towards oneself can help to improve emotional regulation. Treating oneself with kindness and understanding, rather than self-criticism or judgement, encourages people to be gentle with themselves and reduce negative thoughts and emotions.

Trauma Treatment

Targeting the root causes of trauma can address emotional dysregulation and improve many other negative symptoms. Treatments such as neurofeedback, somatic experiencing, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can help individuals gain control over their emotional responses and build resilience against future stressors and triggers.

Trauma heightens emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, and sadness. Although intense and overwhelming, they can be regulated with soothing techniques and professional trauma treatment. People can take back control over their emotions and begin the healing process.

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Understanding Emotions: Part I

Araminta — Fri, 03 Feb 2023 06:00:44 +0000

Emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience. They shape how people think, behave and make decisions, playing a role in every relationship. Better understanding our emotions helps us navigate life and build stronger connections; however, they can be challenging to manage and confront after trauma.

This two-part blog series will explore emotions, how they work, the different types, and the strategies for managing and reconnecting with them.

What Are Emotions?

Emotions are psychological states that involve a wide range of physiological, behavioural, and cognitive responses. They are triggered by both internal and external events and cause feelings that can be both pleasurable and distressing.

Although scientists still do not fully understand how emotions work, research has been conducted into how the brain responds when people experience different feelings. One study found that several areas may be involved in regulating and managing emotions:^[1]

The amygdala – A central part of the limbic system, the amygdala plays a prominent role in recognising emotions such as fear, sadness, and anger in other people’s faces.
The hippocampus – A small structure located next to the amygdala, the hippocampus governs memory function and recall. It plays a role in consolidating emotional memories and linking them to specific contexts.
The prefrontal cortex – This brain area is vital for regulating emotions and helps control impulses.
The hypothalamus – Located at the base of the brain, the hypothalamus helps regulate the autonomic nervous system and coordinate responses to emotional stimuli, such as changes in heart rate and blood pressure.

These regions work together to process emotional information and prompt an appropriate response. There are thousands of reactions humans can have, and researchers have identified six key areas that everyone experiences.

The Six Basic Emotions

Countless emotions influence people’s lives. In the 1970s, psychologist Paul Eckman identified six basic emotions hardwired into the human brain. However, these are not the only feelings to exist – one 2017 study documented twenty-seven categories of emotion.^[2]

Sadness

Feelings of hopelessness, disappointment, grief, and disinterest characterise sadness. Most people experience it from time to time, although some can experience severe periods of sadness that may be diagnosed as depression. People may withdraw from loved ones and experience fatigue and lethargy when feeling sad.

Happiness

Happiness is the emotion that most people aspire to. When people are happy, they often feel content, grateful, and joyful. Humans commonly express happiness through facial expressions, such as smiling, tone of voice, and relaxed and open body language.

Happiness affects the body, not just the brain. Being happier lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease and boosts the immune system, reducing the risk of people catching colds and chest infections.^[3] However, happiness can be threatened by factors such as stress, anxiety, trauma, depression, and loneliness.

Disgust

Disgust can stem from many scenarios, such as smelling something unpleasant or tasting food that has gone bad. Scientists theorise that it evolved as a reaction to things that could be harmful to humans to eat.

When people are disgusted by something, they may turn away or experience a physical reaction such as retching. However, people can also experience moral disgust when they observe others engaging in behaviours they consider immoral or distasteful.

Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion associated with uncertainty, anxiety, and possible harm. When people face a dangerous situation, such as being mugged, their sympathetic nervous system is activated, and they go through a fight-or-flight response. During this response, the body redirects energy to the muscles, and the mind becomes more alert.^[4]

After a traumatic, dangerous situation, feelings of fear can be hard to shake. The fear response can become dysregulated, resulting in people experiencing persistent fear and anxiety even in non-threatening situations. The fear response can also be triggered by something that reminds people of the traumatic event.

Surprise

Surprise is an emotion that can be good, bad, or neutral. When a car backfires on the street, it can be an unpleasant surprise, but a surprise party thrown by friends is exceptionally pleasurable.

Feelings of surprise are often brief and cause a physiological reaction. People may flinch, jump, or gasp when they are startled. It can also activate the fight-or-flight response, providing a burst of adrenaline that quickly fades once the surprise does.^[5]

Anger

Anger is characterised by feelings of hostility, frustration, and agitation. Like fear, anger can play a part in the fight-or-flight response. People can experience a physiological reaction, such as sweating or turning red, as the sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear.

Unchecked anger that is not dealt with healthily can make it difficult for people to make rational decisions and impact physical health.^[6] However, it can also be constructive, motivating people to take action and confront things that bother them.

Other Emotions

These are only a few feelings people experience daily. There are a variety of emotions, including:

Envy
Amusement
Embarrassment
Relief
Guilt
Satisfaction
Confusion
Hope

The Importance of Understanding Emotions

Emotions play a fundamental role in how we experience the world. They shape our experiences and even play a part in memory – it’s much easier to remember events with a strong emotional impact.

Understanding emotions and how they work can help us to manage them better. Although feelings of anger, sadness, and fear are normal, if they persist and remain unmanaged, they can be incredibly damaging to physical health, mental health, and our relationships. By learning to identify and understand them, people can develop and improve skills such as:

Improved relationships – Better emotional intelligence encourages better personal and professional relationships, improving communication and empathy as well as providing healthy ways to manage conflict.
Better decision-making – Emotionally intelligent individuals can better use their emotions to guide their thoughts and behaviour, leading to better decision-making. They can consider the impact of their decisions on themselves and others and make choices that align with their values and goals.
Increased resilience – Emotional intelligence is also associated with increased resilience, the ability to bounce back from stress and adversity. People with high emotional intelligence tend to cope better with stress, recover from setbacks, and learn from their experiences.

However, trauma can significantly impact our emotions and how we perceive them. It can intensify everything we feel or numb it entirely, making it hard to connect with our feelings at any particular time. In our next blog, we will explore how trauma can dysregulate emotions and strategies we can use to attune ourselves to them.

Sources:

^[1] Workman, L., & Reader, W. (2015). Evolutionary psychology: An introduction. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

^[2] Cowen AS, Keltner D. Self-report captures 27 distinct categories of emotion bridged by continuous gradients. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA. 2017;114(38):E7900-E7909. doi:10.1073/pnas.1702247114

^[3] Costanzo ES, Lutgendorf SK, Kohut ML, Nisly N, Rozeboom K, Spooner S, Benda J, McElhaney JE. Mood and cytokine response to influenza virus in older adults. J Gerontol A Biol Sci Med Sci. 2004 Dec;59(12):1328-33. doi: 10.1093/gerona/59.12.1328. PMID: 15699534.

^[4] Kozlowska K, Walker P, Mclean L, Carrive P. Fear and the Defense Cascade: Clinical Implications and Management. Harv Rev Psychiatry. 2015;23(4):263-87. doi:10.1097/HRP.0000000000000065

^[5] Gottlieb MM. The Angry Self: a Comprehensive Approach to Anger Management. Phoenix, AZ: Zeig, Tucker & Co.; 1999.

^[6] Staicu ML, Cuţov M. Anger and health risk behaviors. J Med Life. 2010;3(4):372-5.

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Not-so-Happy Holidays: Managing Painful Emotions

Araminta — Fri, 16 Dec 2022 06:30:53 +0000

The festive period is often regarded as the ‘most wonderful time of the year’. However, for a lot of people, this holiday season is hard. Despite its challenges, the painful emotions associated with this period can often be managed with some planning.

Why the Holidays Can Be Hard

December is often filled with social gatherings, family events, work parties, and more. There is a lot of pressure to be social with people, and constant Christmas-related images on television and social media can mean there is very little escapism.

While it is a time of celebration for many, the holiday season also presents challenges, including:

Mental health – many people struggle with their mental health over the festive period. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as seasonal depression, is prevalent over winter, as shortened daylight and less sunshine can disrupt the circadian rhythm, contributing to low mood and energy. Social anxiety can also be heightened over the festive season, especially with added pressure to socialise. Studies have shown that 64% of those with mental health conditions report them getting worse over the holiday period.^[1]
Isolation – there is a lot of emphasis on spending time with friends and family over the holiday season. However, people can feel incredibly lonely and isolated during this time. The loss of a loved one who won’t be home to celebrate or difficult family situations can compound feelings of isolation, especially if people are no longer in contact with their family or friends.
Stress – the build-up to Christmas and the holidays is stressful. It can be even more stressful and overwhelming for those with family difficulties, financial difficulties, or mental health conditions. Some people may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, like substance abuse, to manage their stress and the painful emotions accompanying it.
Past trauma – traumatic situations in the past can make the holidays a difficult time of the year. Traumatic childhood experiences around the holiday season or facing family members who were the cause of abuse, neglect, or trauma can increase people’s anxiety levels. Despite their experiences, people may be expected to put the past aside and interact with people who were the cause of many painful memories.

These sources of distress can cause symptoms such as dramatic mood shifts, a change in appetite, poor sleeping patterns, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt. Because of their feelings, some may isolate themselves further from their family and friends, which can worsen their emotions and make the festive period even more difficult.

Although this can make the holidays a difficult time, there are many ways that people can manage their painful emotions.

Coping Over the Holiday Period

The holiday season can be daunting, but there are ways to manage painful emotions:

Eradicate perfection – many people imagine a ‘perfect’ Christmas. Social media and movies portray the holidays as an idyllic, stress-free period to relax with their loved ones. However, this is often not a realistic expectation, and when people hold themselves to high expectations, it can cause more stress. The pressure of being the perfect host can make it harder to have fun and be present with loved ones. Forgoing the need for perfection can make the holidays more enjoyable and relaxing.
Set and maintain boundaries – there are often many events around the holiday season, and people can feel pressured to attend all of them. Firm boundaries can protect people from specific individuals, places, and even emotions that can trigger past trauma. Saying no to parties or refusing to see certain family members is a good protective measure that anyone can take to maintain their mental health and well-being over the holidays.
Make a plan – planning for parties, shopping, finances, and menus can save a lot of stress and give people more time to enjoy the festive period. When people know what events they will be attending, they can also plan for downtime or time for self-care.
Maintain healthy habits – people’s schedules often change over Christmas, and it can be challenging to prioritise your health through regular exercise and a healthy diet. Making the space and time to maintain good habits can help people manage stress and cope better in the face of upsetting situations.

Although the festive season is generally synonymous with celebration, friends and family, this isn’t the case for many people, especially those with a history of trauma. While Christmas is quite rightly a time for giving, it is equally important for people to focus on themselves and take the time to look after their mental health.

Sources:

^[1] “Mental Health And The Holiday Blues | NAMI: National Alliance On Mental Illness”. Nami.Org, 2014, https://www.nami.org/Press-Media/Press-Releases/2014/Mental-health-and-the-holiday-blues. Accessed 29 Nov 2020.

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Dealing with Abandonment Issues

Benjamin — Fri, 15 Jul 2022 04:39:01 +0000

Nobody likes to be left behind. However, abandonment issues are much more than this and involve a deep-seated fear of losing loved ones. There are many reasons this fear may develop, but it can often be traced back to childhood trauma or the sudden loss of a loved one.

The Signs of Abandonment Issues

Those with an intense fear of abandonment can exhibit many behaviours, including:

Needing constant reassurance – many people afraid of abandonment will repeatedly ask their loved ones for emotional guarantees, such as assurances that they will always be there for them.
Purposely sabotaging relationships – even though those with a fear of abandonment do not want people to leave them, they may purposefully damage their relationships and push away their loved ones, so they do not feel hurt or surprised when they leave.
Staying in unhealthy relationships – some people have such an intense fear of being left that they stay in unhealthy, toxic relationships, despite wanting to go.
Overthinking and suspicion – abandonment issues can make people incredibly anxious, leading to overthinking and suspicion of their partners and friends. For example, if a person does not hear from their partner for a certain amount of time, they may suspect them of having an affair and ruminate on what their silence means.

Other signs of abandonment issues also include:

Codependency in relationships
Moving quickly from one relationship to another
An inability to trust other people
People-pleasing behaviour
The need to constantly be in control

Abandonment issues can have long-term effects that affect people throughout their lifetime. They are less likely to be able to regulate their emotions and use healthy coping skills, and are at a higher risk of developing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.^[1]

Causes of Abandonment Issues

A fear of abandonment can stem from many places. Experiencing childhood abuse, neglect, or the loss of a loved one at an early age can impact how children form attachments, affecting their attachment style later.

However, any relationship, even in adulthood, can cause abandonment issues. Losing a loved one suddenly or ending a meaningful relationship can lead to a fear of abandonment developing and affecting future relationships.^[2]

Abandonment issues can be caused by adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) – stressful and traumatic events that occur at a young age. These experiences can contribute to negative internal beliefs that lead people to believe they are unimportant and undeserving of love, which can affect relationships in adulthood.

Other causes of abandonment issues can include romantic rejection, financial stress, mental health conditions, medical issues, and workplace mistreatment. However, no one defined reason will lead someone to develop abandonment issues – it is a complex combination of many things.

Abandonment and Attachment

Abandonment and attachment are closely related. Attachment theory was developed in the 1950s by psychologists Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby and proposes that early childhood interactions between children and caregivers influence how people become attached to others in later life.

Children whose caregivers are responsive to their needs are more likely to grow up securely attached, which helps them to form healthy relationships in adulthood. However, when caregivers are distant, abusive, or inconsistent with their warmth and affection, children can grow up with one of three insecure attachment styles, which could contribute to the development of a fear of abandonment:

Avoidant attachment – people with this form of attachment tend to avoid close, intimate relationships and have trouble opening up to others. They commonly fear commitment and may therefore cycle through relationships quickly.
Anxious attachment – anxiously attached people form intense relationships very quickly. They often need a lot of reassurance in relationships and are very emotionally reactive.
Disorganised attachment – people with a disorganised attachment style are often inconsistent in their relationships and can exhibit signs of anxious and avoidant attachment. They may be uncomfortable with closeness and demonstrate a lack of empathy for others.

Anxiously attached people can often struggle with abandonment issues as they are constantly terrified that people will leave them. However, all attachment styles, even those who are securely attached, can struggle with a fear of abandonment.

Healing a Fear of Abandonment

Overcoming an intense fear of abandonment can seem impossible; however, there are many steps that people can take to help them manage how they feel, including:

Learning about attachment styles – when people are aware of their attachment style, it can, in turn, make them more aware of how their fear of abandonment affects their relationships. Once people know what attachment style they are aligned with, they can work towards managing the feelings that arise when they are triggered.
Noting down triggers – fear of abandonment can be triggered by many things, such as a tone of voice or a short response to a question. When people recognise their triggers, they can plan how to cope with them and communicate to others how these triggers make them think and feel.
Improving communication – abandonment issues can cause people to lash out at their loved ones. Learning to communicate healthily and discussing feelings rather than reacting impulsively can reassure those with a fear of abandonment and improve their romantic and platonic relationships.

Abandonment issues can be hard to face alone. Reaching out for help can help people to confront their fears head-on with the support of a therapist and address the root causes of the issues affecting them.

A fear of abandonment can stem from many places, but no matter where it comes from, it can be challenging for relationships. This fear can also contribute to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression and can feel inescapable. Abandonment issues can be addressed and healed, and with consistent work and effort, these feelings lessen, and relationships can be improved.

Sources:

^[1] Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., et al. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. Am J Prev Med., 14(4):245-258. doi:10.1016/s0749-3797(98)00017-8

^[2] Schoenfelder EN, Sandler IN, Wolchik S, Mackinnon D. Quality of Social Relationships and the Development of Depression in Parentally-Bereaved Youth. J Youth Adolesc. 2011;40(1):85-96. doi:10.1007/s10964-009-9503-z

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Understanding the Stages of Grief

Araminta — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 05:00:13 +0000

The loss of a loved one is always difficult. Whether a loss is sudden or expected, coping in the aftermath can feel impossible. Loss can bring about many complex feelings, and over the years, experts have worked to understand the stages of grief and how people move through the grieving process.

The Five Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined a theory of five distinct stages of grief that people go through after a loss:^[1]

Denial – the first stage of grief, denial helps people protect themselves from the pain of their loss. It can be incredibly difficult to accept that someone has died, and there is a lot of painful information to process. Denial is a common defence mechanism that provides a buffer to the shock and pain of the situation, helping people to process their loss in their own time.
Anger – after denial comes anger. The extreme emotional discomfort and pain of processing a loss is redirected and expressed as anger, and people may feel angry at everyone and everything as they process their feelings.
Bargaining – bargaining helps people hold onto hope as they grieve. Quite often an if/then scenario, this stage is often accompanied by guilt, as people think about how they could have done things differently and wish they could go back in time to change things.
Depression – an intense sadness accompanies this fourth stage of grief as people face the reality of their loss. They can feel fatigued, may withdraw from their loved ones, and lose interest in things that once brought them joy. Depression experienced while grieving is not necessarily a permanent mental health condition but rather a response to the grieving process.
Acceptance – acceptance is the final stage. Acceptance does not mean that it is any less painful or that people will never feel sad or angry anymore. Instead, they come to terms and start to move on with their lives.

There is no timeline for people to accept their loss, and this is not a comprehensive list. Many other emotions may arise during the grieving process, including detachment, resentment, and even relief, especially if they have watched a loved one suffer from a long illness.

Different Stages of Grief

There are many interpretations of the stages of grief. For example, psychiatrist Colin Murray Parkes developed a model of grief based on attachment theory which outlined four phases instead of five:^[2]

Shock and numbness – closely related to the denial stage in Kubler-Ross’s theory; this is the first stage of Parke’s theory. In this stage, people feel overwhelmed when coping with their loss and may feel physical distress leading to somatic symptoms.
Searching and yearning – people begin to search for comfort and become preoccupied with the person they have lost.
Despair and disorganisation – in this phase, people may become angry and upset, finally realising that their loved one is gone.
Reorganisation and recovery – similar to the acceptance stage, in this phase, people begin to come to terms with their loss. The sadness and longing may not disappear, but people start to move towards healing.

As with the five stages of grief, there is no timeline to move through each phase; the processing of emotions is a very personal experience.

Traumatic Grief

Traumatic grief can occur in response to a sudden, unexpected, or violent death of a loved one. The shock of the situation can be intensely traumatic and cause conditions such as prolonged grief disorder and complicated grief disorder.

For those who have experienced traumatic grief, their recovery process may not fit into specific stages, or they may get stuck in one stage. The symptoms of traumatic grief can include:

Emotional numbness
Difficulty sleeping
Increased anxiety
Loss of appetite
Trembling and shaking

Traumatic grief symptoms are often more intense and persistent than regular grief.

Coping with Grief

There is no one way to cope after losing a loved one. The grieving process is non-linear, and people may experience different aspects at different times.

There are several ways to help people come to terms with their loss, such as:

Return to a hobby – having a hobby such as crochet, painting, or gardening can give people an outlet for their emotions and provide them with something else to focus on.
Reach out to family and friends – speaking with loved ones can help process emotions and help people feel connected to others who can relate to what they are going through.
Practice self-care – the mind and body are connected. Eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated, and exercising regularly can boost your mental and physical health and can also help combat stress and fatigue.
Note down grief triggers – birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can bring difficult feelings to the surface, no matter how long it has been since a loss. By knowing what might be a trigger, people can plan what they want to do, whether that is spending the day with a friend, honouring their loss, or simply sitting with their emotions.

Even with the best efforts, grief can be intensely challenging to manage and can get in the way of daily life. If you find that you are unable to move past your grief, professional treatment may be helpful.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling with grief and loss, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential programme and outpatient therapies addressing trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

^[1] Newman L. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. BMJ. 2004;329(7466):627.

^[2] Parkes CM. Bereavement in adult life. BMJ. 1998;316(7134):856–859. doi:10.1136/bmj.316.7134.856

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How To Help A Child With Intrusive Thoughts

Araminta — Sun, 27 Feb 2022 05:30:33 +0000

Many people deal with intrusive thoughts throughout their lives. For children, these thoughts can be incredibly scary and disturbing. They may worry that there is something wrong with them; however, this is not the case, and there are several ways to help a child manage this.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that come into your head unprompted and unasked for. They can occur frequently and are often of an upsetting and disturbing nature. These disturbing thoughts can be violent or sexual and may often be about behaviours that you find repulsive.

Intrusive thoughts can be negative and draining. However, although they may be present and persistent, they often fade quickly.

The recurrence of these thoughts can be a worrying sign for people. They can often think that because they are having these thoughts, they are a bad person and they secretly want these terrible things to happen; however, this is untrue.

Intrusive thoughts are incredibly common. They are reported in almost every country worldwide, and many people will experience them throughout their lives.^[1] Children may not recognise these thoughts as just thoughts and will not know how to deal with them.

Young children often experience what is known as magical thinking. Magical thinking is a strong belief that your inner thoughts can influence the outside world, especially in children up to 7 years old. If a child is experiencing disturbing thoughts, they may be terrified that these dark images will influence the world around them. This fear can make them feel incredibly guilty, scared and afraid.

Causes of Intrusive Thoughts

There may not be a cause for intrusive thoughts.

Much of the population have these thoughts from time to time, and they are very normal. However, for some people (including children), intrusive thinking can be symptomatic of a deeper mental health condition, such as:

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) – those with OCD struggle with intrusive thoughts that can become behaviours. For example, someone with OCD may have thoughts about getting sick, which can then cause them to obsessively clean their countertops to avoid this risk.
Eating disorders – eating disorders can cause intrusive thoughts about body image and food’s impact on the body. These thoughts can cause significant distress to those with an eating disorder.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – intrusive thoughts are common in people with PTSD. They may relate to the traumatic incident and trigger physical symptoms, including an elevated heart rate, severe flashbacks and mental distress.

How to Help

Your child may not want you to find out that they are experiencing intrusive thoughts out of fear of how you will react. If their thoughts are violent or disturbing, they may go to lengths to hide them, even if they are causing them immense distress. If you suspect that your child is struggling with negative thoughts, or your child confesses to you that they are, there are several steps that you can take to help them:

Explain what intrusive thoughts are – young children won’t know what intrusive thoughts are and may feel intense guilt that what they are thinking will cause them or someone they love to get hurt. Even young adults may not know what they are experiencing. Explaining disturbing thoughts to your child can reassure them that they are not alone and they are experiencing something entirely normal.
Thinking isn’t the same as doing – having intrusive thoughts about horrible scenarios or events is not the same as acting on them. A child may have thoughts about hurting people around them and worry that they are terrible people, but by letting them know that having these thoughts is not the same as acting upon them, they can begin to relax.
Catch them in the act – teaching your child or teenager how to catch intrusive thoughts in the act can be a beneficial way of dealing with them. By noticing their thinking and acknowledging it, children can learn that they are nothing to be afraid of. You can teach your child to say or think, “this is an intrusive thought!” whenever one comes to mind, and then let the thought go so it can’t bother them anymore.
Don’t push them away – although this may seem counterintuitive, pushing away intrusive thoughts can cause children – and adults – to fixate on them more. Instead, accept that the thought is there and know it will pass.

These methods may not be enough for all children, and in this case, they may benefit from attending therapy sessions to help manage and interrupt the process. Therapy can also help children and young adults to address any potential triggers for their disturbing thoughts to teach them healthy responses.

Conclusion

Intrusive thoughts can be scary for children and adolescents. They may not recognise their thoughts as intrusive and instead worry about what others may think of them. Help your child by educating them on how to catch intrusive thoughts in the act and how thinking is not the same as doing.

If your child confesses that they are having disturbing thoughts, it is not a cause for concern – they are common all over the world, and almost everyone will experience them at some point in their life.

However, if you are worried about your child’s mental health, always seek professional help.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling with intrusive thoughts, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential programme and outpatient therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

^[1] Clark, David A., and Adam S. Radomsky. “Introduction: A Global Perspective On Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts”. Journal Of Obsessive-Compulsive And Related Disorders, vol 3, no. 3, 2014, pp. 265-268. Elsevier BV, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.001. Accessed 25 Jan 2022.

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The Disease To Please – Hypervigilance Around Others’ Needs

Araminta — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 06:00:41 +0000

Hypervigilance is not a mental health condition on its own, although it can be symptomatic of one. Being hypervigilant often means that people are sensitive to their environment, but it can also mean being extremely sensitive to other people’s emotions.

Hypervigilance Defined

Hypervigilance is characterised by an extreme sensitivity to the environment. Hypervigilant people are often on high alert and constantly on the lookout for hidden dangers and potential escape routes. It can be exhausting to deal with and can interfere with work and personal relationships.

Hypervigilance is commonly a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and can also be a symptom of panic disorder and generalised anxiety disorder.^[1] Other experiences that can cause hypervigilance include being a survivor of domestic or childhood abuse, a war veteran, or surviving sexual assault. Symptoms of hypervigilance include:

Quick, shallow breathing
Rapid heart rate
Severe anxiety
Avoiding social interactions
Increased fear
Overreacting to environmental and emotional stimuli

Additionally, hypervigilance can be defined by four features:

Avoidance of perceived threats – depending on where an individual sees a threat, they may avoid those places or scenarios. People may also develop agoraphobia, an intense fear of places and situations in which they may be trapped.
Startle reflex – everyone startles at loud noises occasionally, but in cases of hypervigilance, people can jump or flinch at sudden movement, noise, and surprise. This is also called hyperekplexia.
Overestimating a threat – hypervigilance causes people to constantly be prepared for threats, to the point where they will take any precaution to prepare themselves. This can include sitting with their back to a wall or near an exit so that they can escape easily.
Epinephrine-induced physiological symptoms – also known as adrenaline, epinephrine is a stress hormone that can impact our fight-or-flight response. Hypervigilance can release more epinephrine than needed to prepare for threats, which causes increased blood pressure, a rapid heart rate, and dilated pupils.

Hypervigilance may be mistaken for paranoia. Although there are similarities between the two, there are also marked differences:

Present and future – paranoia is characterised by a belief that someone is trying to hurt them in the present. In contrast, hypervigilance is marked by intense anxiety about bad things happening in the future.
Being on guard – hypervigilant people are consistently on guard, but those struggling with paranoia suffer from delusions that someone or something is out to get them.
Insight – paranoid people are often unaware that they are suffering from delusions. However, hypervigilant people know that they may be irrational but still find it difficult or impossible to relax.

Emotional Hypervigilance

Hypervigilance is often a response to trauma, childhood abuse, assault, or surviving an accident or natural disaster. For those hypervigilant due to abuse, they may be especially vigilant with the needs of others, constantly going out of their way and out of their comfort zone in an attempt to keep them happy.

This can also play into attachment theory. Those with an anxious-insecure attachment style are constantly sensitive to their partner’s moods and emotions. As they are terrified of abandonment, they can be increasingly hypervigilant to their partners’ needs and wants. However, this behaviour can lead to resentment on behalf of the hypervigilant person, as they strive to cater to their partner’s wants, but their partner may not do the same.

Hypervigilance can also affect relationships, both romantic and platonic, in many ways:

Identity issues – those constantly hypervigilant to their partner’s moods and needs may neglect their feelings and needs and lose their sense of identity.
Clinginess – those coping with trauma and an anxious-insecure attachment style can become incredibly clingy to their partners out of fear they will leave. They are hypervigilant to their partners’ needs to try and discourage them from leaving.
Emotional outbursts – hypervigilance can cause people to have trouble regulating their emotions, leading to intense emotional outbursts.
Trust issues – hypervigilance leads to people constantly scanning their surroundings for threats. These threats can include people, and even in relationships and friendships, people can struggle with trust issues.

In addition, those struggling with hypervigilance can overreact to their partner’s or friends’ tones or expressions and overanalyse every situation. This can damage their relationships as their partners may take offence to their reactions and not understand why they behave the way they do.

Coping With Hypervigilance

If you notice that hypervigilance affects your life, there are several ways to help. As being intensely hypervigilant is linked to anxiety disorders and PTSD, it is wise to contact a mental health professional to see if there is an underlying cause.

An effective treatment for hypervigilance is exposure therapy. This form of treatment focuses on exposing people to specific triggers and fears to help individuals recognise what causes them to react so they can take steps to limit their responses. Therapy can also provide many tools for coping with hypervigilance, including:

Relaxation techniques – your therapist may incorporate relaxation aids such as yoga and breathing exercises into your treatment.
Mindfulness – learning how to be mindful of behaviour can help those struggling with hypervigilance become more aware of what they think and feel in the moment and reduce their reactive behaviour.
Communication -therapists can incorporate communication techniques into treatment to help those struggling with hypervigilance communicate what they need and how they feel to the people around them.

Conclusion

Hypervigilance is a symptom of conditions such as PTSD and several anxiety disorders. It is characterised by the intense fear and avoidance of threats, with those struggling with hypervigilance taking extreme measures to avoid potential adverse outcomes.

Many people struggling with trauma or an avoidant-insecure attachment style can be incredibly hypervigilant to the needs of others. They worry that if they don’t cater to the needs of people around them, their friends and partners will reject them and leave, so they take extreme steps to meet every need of their loved ones; however, this can come with a range of negative consequences and can actively damage relationships. With the help of therapy and healthy coping mechanisms, hypervigilance and its causes can be treated effectively.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling with hypervigilance, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential programme and outpatient therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

^[1] Kimble M, Boxwala M, Bean W, et al. The impact of hypervigilance: Evidence for a forward feedback loop. J Anxiety Disord. 2014;28(2):241-245. doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2013.12.006

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The Need for Boundaries in Relationships

Araminta — Fri, 19 Nov 2021 05:04:48 +0000

All healthy relationships need boundaries. Boundaries don’t mean you’re closing yourself off to your partner, friend, or parent. Instead, they suggest that you’re setting down firm rules of what you need and expect from that relationship.

Boundaries can help you to get close to others and improve your relationship. It isn’t about keeping people at arm’s length at all times – it means that you’re putting measures in place to protect your sense of identity and your mental health.

Types of Boundaries

Anne Katherine, the author of Where to Draw the Line, defines boundaries as “a limit. By the limits you set, you protect the integrity of your day, your energy and spirit, the health of your relationships, the pursuits of your heart.”^[1]

Boundaries can look different depending on each person’s needs. You can also set professional boundaries regarding your work life. It’s essential to clearly communicate the boundaries you might need to ensure that there is minimal miscommunication. Here, it is beneficial to define exactly what you need, want, or expect.

Examples of some healthy boundaries that you might want to set include:

Asking permission, for example, to share your thoughts and feelings after a long day
Showing respect
Giving one another space when asked for
Setting a firm cut off point for finishing work

When setting boundaries, something to be aware of is that they can often turn into an attempt to control someone. For instance, a healthy boundary may require both partners to respect when the other says “no”. However, an unhealthy boundary can grow when one partner does not accept this and tries to pressure or coerce the other partner into accepting or doing something that they do not want to.

These unhealthy boundaries can take many forms, including:

Oversharing personal information, for instance, with people who you are not close to
Banning your partner from going out with their friends
Withholding communication or affection after conflict

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Knowing how to set healthy boundaries in relationships can be intimidating, but there are a few ways that you can make it easier:

Communicate – Communication is key for all aspects of life. When setting boundaries, sit down with your loved one free from any distractions and discuss what you want to see in your relationship and how you can both achieve this. Although it might feel awkward, the rewards you’ll see in your relationship will be well worth it.
Start early – Setting healthy boundaries in romantic relationships works best when set early as this gives both parties the chance to settle in around the boundaries and get used to them. This isn’t to say that boundaries can’t be set later on during a relationship. They may just be harder to adapt to as both partners will be used to certain habits that could be difficult to break.
Be careful with your wording – When discussing boundaries, finding the right words to use can be tricky. If you use phrases such as “when you” or “you always do”, it can come across as though you’re blaming the other person. In turn, they may become defensive which often causes communication to break down. Try using “I” statements, such as “I feel” or “I don’t like”. In doing so, you and your partner will have the ability to focus on what you want and need within that moment.

When discussing boundaries, it’s important to remember that they are not always set in stone. You can choose to come back and review them with your loved one after a set amount of time and adjust them as needed. However, it is also important not to be too flexible with your boundaries – don’t give in to pressure if someone wants to violate a boundary you have set.

Stating that “boundaries are sometimes permeable, and sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they’re physical and sometimes they’re geo-political, so this idea is more fluid”^[2] Meredith Gore, an Associate Professor at the University of Maryland, advises people to ‘think like a geographer’ when it comes to setting boundaries.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries can come with a host of benefits that enhance many relationships. Healthy boundaries can:

Reduce conflict – Having clear boundaries that both people respect and adhere to can reduce the amount of conflict within any relationship. From a lack of respect for privacy to a lack of effective communication, continuous conflict may arise within a relationship from anywhere. However, healthy boundaries that target these issues can reduce the conflict that can arise from them.
Decrease resentment – Resentment can stem from many places, such as if you feel your partner is taking advantage of your generosity or time or taking you for granted. By setting boundaries that ask your partner to respect your time and feelings, resentment can be reduced, and your relationship improved.
Improve happiness – Studies have shown that blurred boundaries between work and life can negatively affect lifestyle and wellbeing.^[3] The prevalence of communication technology also means that those who work from home can struggle to separate their work and life balance. Unfortunately, this can increase conflict within families.^[4] Setting a firm boundary and prioritising your downtime can improve your happiness and prevent emotional exhaustion.

Conclusion

Boundaries are an essential need in all relationships. They help us remain independent in our relationships and ensure that we can still enjoy close companionship and preserve our mental health and identity. Although people may feel guilty for setting boundaries at first, especially if they are not used to prioritising themselves, they can vastly improve wellbeing.

As well as setting your own firm boundaries, always be respectful of the ones that others set. Respect is a two-way street, and if you respect the boundaries of others, they are likely to respect yours in return.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling to with their mental health, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential program and outpatient therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

^[1] Katherine, Anne. Where To Draw The Line. Simon & Schuster, 2000, p. 14.

^[2] Phipps, Emma. “Meredith Gore – Boundaries In A World Striving For Work-Life Balance #Womeninscience”. Science & Research News | Frontiers, 2021, https://blog.frontiersin.org/2021/08/26/meredith-gore-boundaries-in-a-world-striving-for-work-life-balance-womeninscience/.

^[3] Pluut, Helen, and Jaap Wonders. “Not Able to Lead a Healthy Life When You Need It the Most: Dual Role of Lifestyle Behaviors in the Association of Blurred Work-Life Boundaries With Well-Being.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 11 607294. 23 Dec. 2020, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.607294

^[4] Yang, Jing et al. “Work-Family Segmentation Preferences And Work-Family Conflict: Mediating Effect Of Work-Related ICT Use At Home And The Multilevel Moderating Effect Of Group Segmentation Norms”. Frontiers In Psychology, vol 10, 2019. Frontiers Media SA, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00834. Accessed 8 Nov 2021.

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What Is an Empath and How To Stop Absorbing Others Emotions

Araminta — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 05:36:13 +0000

Although having empathy for another person enables many to understand their pain and joy, this essentially becomes an empath’s pleasure and pain.

Empaths have many positive traits, including:[1]

Being intuitive
Pick up on dishonesty or hidden emotions
Being incredibly caring
Seeing the world in unique ways

However, there are many downsides to being an empath. Negative aspects can include:[2]

Being overwhelmed by intimacy – you may feel suffocated or panicked by your partner’s feelings
Avoiding conflict, even when conflict may be necessary
Feeling as though you don’t fit in
Difficulty setting boundaries
Trouble dealing with emotional overload

Combatting the Difficult Traits of Being an Empath

There are many ways to combat the problematic sides of being an empath. These include setting boundaries, making friends with the word no, practising mindfulness, and identifying triggers. We delve into each below.

Set Boundaries

Constantly dealing with the emotions of those around you can be exhausting, especially if people often come to you when they encounter problems. In this instance, you may find yourself feeling on edge around them. You may even experience mental exhaustion as you attempt to continuously deal with other people’s thoughts and feelings.[3]

However, this can be mitigated by setting firm, healthy boundaries with your loved ones. Healthy boundaries are essential for everyone, but as an empath, they are critical. This is because setting boundaries can help you focus on your own emotions and problems.

Boundaries can look different for everyone. Depending on your needs, boundaries may include turning down a few social invitations to rest and recharge rather than going out. Boundaries may also consist of encouraging people to seek other forms of help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

As empaths typically tend to avoid conflict, setting boundaries may seem challenging. However, by establishing them, you can boost your own emotional health and well-being.

Make Friends With the Word No

As touched on above, empaths will avoid conflict as much as possible. This may lead to you saying “yes” to things you don’t necessarily want to do, such as attending an event or allowing people to unload their problems onto you.

Saying “no” goes hand-in-hand with setting non-negotiable boundaries. It’s a great way to make space for your own mental and physical well-being. When you say “no”, make sure you’re clear and firm, but be kind too. Saying “no” in a flimsy tone may lead people to be persistent. They may even demand that you say yes or attempt to change your mind.

Although you may worry about saying “no”, the best part of doing so is that you don’t have to justify yourself. If you’d like, you can, but saying “unfortunately, I can’t make it this weekend” or “thank you for the offer, but I have to decline” is a perfectly valid answer.

Practice Mindfulness

One of the signs of an empath is that they can feel overwhelmed very quickly. This may be from continuous socialising, large crowds, or sensory overload from loud noises or strong smells.

As an empath, it is essential to take steps to protect yourself against feeling overwhelmed. An excellent way to take a step back from the emotional ‘noise’ is to utilise mindfulness practices such as meditation.[4]

Meditation, for example, will provide you with a safe space to come back to at the end of the day. Mindfulness can also assist you when it comes to developing tools you can use in daily life.

Good mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your life include, but are not limited to, the following:

Journaling
Yoga
Knitting
Walking

Identify Your Triggers

If you’re an empath who finds yourself feeling engulfed in emotion somewhat easily, try keeping a notebook handy. Making a note of how you feel at various times of the day and jotting down what triggers you will help you identify what causes you to feel overwhelmed. In turn, you can begin to plan for what to do when this happens again. You can also determine how to avoid any pessimistic emotions in the future.

For instance, you might find that certain social situations overwhelm you due to the number of people in attendance. The presence of certain people may also leave you feeling uneasy. You can either plan to avoid these events or cut down on attending them entirely in recognising this. After all, your mental health and well-being should be your priority.

Conclusion

Being an empath can sometimes seem like a curse rather than a blessing, especially with the extra emotional noise you have to deal with on a daily basis. However, being an empathic person is something to be proud of – you’re kind, caring, and love helping others. As this can be tiring, be sure to follow some of our tips and remember to look after yourself as well as your loved ones.

If you have a client or know of someone struggling with their mental health, reach out to us at Khiron Clinics. We believe that we can improve therapeutic outcomes and avoid misdiagnosis by providing an effective residential program and outpatient therapies addressing underlying psychological trauma. Allow us to help you find the path to realistic, long-lasting recovery. For more information, call us today. UK: 020 3811 2575 (24 hours). USA: (866) 801 6184 (24 hours).

Sources:

[1] Thompson, Russel L. et al. “Five-Factor Model (Big Five) Personality Traits And Universal-Diverse Orientation In Counselor Trainees”. The Journal Of Psychology, vol 136, no. 5, 2002, pp. 561-572. Informa UK Limited, doi:10.1080/00223980209605551. Accessed 8 Nov 2021.

[2] Heym, Nadja et al. “The Dark Empath: Characterising Dark Traits In The Presence Of Empathy”. Personality And Individual Differences, vol 169, 2021, p. 110172. Elsevier BV, doi:10.1016/j.paid.2020.110172. Accessed 8 Nov 2021.

[3] Wuest, Judith. “Setting Boundaries: A Strategy For Precarious Ordering Of Women’s Caring Demands”. Research In Nursing & Health, vol 21, no. 1, 1998, pp. 39-49. Wiley, doi:10.1002/(sici)1098-240x(199802)21:1<39::aid-nur5>3.0.co;2-u. Accessed 8 Nov 2021.

[4] Raab, Kelley. “Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, And Empathy Among Health Care Professionals: A Review Of The Literature”. Journal Of Health Care Chaplaincy, vol 20, no. 3, 2014, pp. 95-108. Informa UK Limited, doi:10.1080/08854726.2014.913876. Accessed 8 Nov 2021.

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